Picking Favorites

I love Donald Miller.

I read his book Blue Like Jazz
a number of years  ago, and while I was at school, it was the book I read when I didn't have to study. Unfortunately, that meant I never really go to read it.

Before I left, my SMC, Kelsey, told me to read Searching For God Knows What by none other than Donald Miller.

I laughed, because the books that I've been told to read the most, I own, but haven't read,  Searching For God Knows What being one of them. I decided that it would be one of my winter break books.

I started it a few days ago, and honestly, I've been really bad at setting aside time to sit and read. However, every single page has me stopping to think and digest what I've just read. Most often, I find myself asking, "Is that me?" when he describes his frustrations with the church, or what his small-minded view of God used to be. It's making me rethink and reevaluate what I believe (in a positive way). Most of the time, when someone describes a 'before/after' situation, especially dealing with faith, we identify with the 'after' version. We think of the author, Well of course God is like this or that, I'm so glad you're finally on the same page as the rest of us here sitting on our thrones of wisdom. In the process of reading this book, I'm learning to stop and see where I am. Is he talking about me? Is he trying to show me a new idea or view of God? Yes. He is.

What I love about Donald Miller is that he does open you up to new ideas. Even if they're not new, he puts them in a way that all of a sudden makes sense. Things click when I read his books. He also never ever ever claims to be on some throne of wisdom. He's not writing to instruct, teach, or preach, he writes to share where he's been, and where's he's heading to. He writes his testimonies, and hopes that if the reader identifies with him, that he'll be able to offer words of advice, encouragement, and truth. He's writing to a friend. It actually reminds me a lot of John the Evangelist and the letters he wrote. Miller writes of a loving father, who loves so differently than anything we've ever experience, and whose existence cannot be denied.

I've been looking for one stand-out quote to include in a blog post or facebook status, but it's impossible. Simply impossible. If I find one in the rest of my reading, I'll be sure to let you know. In the meantime, I seriously recommend borrowing/renting/buying/stealing any of Donald Miller's books.

What a great tool to help us slow down and reconnect during this crazy, wonderful season.

Happy reading!

Sweet Tea

When I moved to Seattle, I assumed that everyone would drink coffee. I mean, obviously! It's Seattle!

Nope.

{{{tea}}}

everyone drinks tea

I have adjusted :)

One of my favorite places is the Tea Cup in Queen Anne, Seattle

 When my friends (R to L) Lindsey, Alicia, Ondi, and Maddie came to visit, I took them there and we spent over two hours sipping on tea and catching up on the past two months. It was absolutely lovely.

I've decided that tea parties are my new favorite thing. They're something special, elegant, girly, and super duper fun. 

So of course, what did we have to do when I got home?

 

{A tea party}

Complete with my grandmother's wacky tea pots, Christmas mugs, and a variety of teas. Some delicious, some, well, not so delicious we figured out.

 I love my friends. So freaking much.

Let's Play a Game

How many of you go around the table on Thanksgiving to say something you're thankful for?

I do.

I realized though, that it's a lot easier to make a list of things I'm not thankful for, or things I want so then I can be thankful for them.

Interesting, huh?

This year, I was made very much aware that I take for granted the blessings God has so gracefully, and lovingly given me. I see his large blessings: my health, family, home, food, etc. But how often do I stop and thank Jesus for the "smaller" blessings? Waking up each morning. A hood on my coat when it's raining in Seattle. Oat Squares. Peppermint Mochas. Some things sound silly, but really, isn't every single thing we're given, given by our God?

Recently, it's been easy to see things I don't have, and I've been blinded to the new blessings God has given me. To me of little faith.

Here is a small list of some things I am thankful for though.

I am thankful to be at SPU. A wonderful place, with wonderful people, in wonderful classes, living a wonderful life and preparing for what I know will be a wonderful future.

I am thankful for these lovely girls. Sammy, Izzy, and my roommate Nicole. I spend most of my spare time with them. We share, sit, giggle, pray, and spend life with one another. There is no doubt in my mind that God hand placed us together.

I am thankful for Laura. Wow, what a young woman of God! We're both from Salem, but became friends at SPU. The Lord truly answered my prayers with Laura. I am so looking forward to our friendship growing even more!

I am thankful for nice jackets that keep me warm and dry in Seattle.

I am thankful for snow, and staying safe in the snow.

I am thankful that I don't have to eat the same thing two days in a row if I don't want to.

I am thankful for my loving family. Even if none of us are close to perfect.

I am thankful for more than one home. I have put this one in a negative light in the past. But really, I am very blessed to have a home at SPU, and two homes in Salem (Mom and Dad).

I am thankful for things unseen, like God's love, grace, mercy, provisions, and faithfulness

Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.
-Colossians 2:7 NLT




PS: Sorry if this post seems a little scatter brained. It is. Please note that it's nearly 2am.

Please Don't Beat Me Up...

The Christmas Song

Baby It's Cold Outside

Let It Snow

Happy Holidays

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

Mmmmm, even though I've been listening to Christmas music since the beginning of the month, these were playing in my head as I strolled through the snow and drank peppermint hot chocolate today :)

Enjoy!

Joyous Things

I don't think I have ever seen my campus so happy before!

Lately, everyone I've walked past smiles at me and I smile back and it feels so joyous!

I think the joy began Thursday night, as people dressed up in robes and glasses, grabbed their wands and headed to the movie theater.

Oh yeah, HARRY POTTER!!

I love HP and I love midnight premieres because you're in a theater with a few hundred other HP fans who get excited, nervous, sad, and triumphant with you. Out loud. Which is the best part.


Normally, no one is super excited on Mondays. I was expecting an especially dreary environment considering that people are half here/half angry that they're here because they want to be home for Thanksgiving. It was a lovely surprise when I saw SNOW when I finally got out of bed this morning!!!

Every thing looks better when it's covered in snow and every one was skipping and singing and trying to catch snowflakes on their tongues. There was also an added element of awesomeness when we got the email that afternoon classes were canceled. Honestly, while the snow is great, there isn't a lot on the ground. Whatever. I'll take it :)

In addition to all these joyous occasions, Thanksgiving is this weekend and everyone gets to go home and see family and eat lots of yummy food. Can't wait!

Decisions, Decisions

For those of you who know me well, you are aware of my chronic indecisiveness. While I am by no means cured, I feel I am making progress during my 8 weeks at SPU so far.

See???

When I came to school in September, I decided that I didn't want to be a teacher anymore and I swore off the Integrated Studies major. However, after a few more weeks, I decided that I did actually want to teach, and I was really excited about it. Ha. Decision made.

After that, however, I then faced choosing a concentration. A concentration is one of the six areas (math, science, language arts, social studies, arts, heath/PE) to take extra classes in, and to essentially specialize in. This decision was fairly easy considering I could transfer in 15 credits (one quarter worth of classes) into the Language Arts program. Decision made.

The chaos of Involve-O-Rama the first week of school (all the clubs set up tables and ask you to join) and Burst the Bubble (off-campus volunteer opportunities in Seattle) was overwhelming. There were sooooo many things I wanted to say "yes" to! My youth pastor, Chris, has been trying to teach me to say "no" to things. He knows me too well; I'll over commit myself in order to help out. Though there are lots of amazing opportunities and great causes, I limited myself to getting involved with ONE club and ONE volunteer project.
Club: Relinquish Prayer Ministry. There's a weekly event called Luke 18 when we gather together to pray for the campus and for larger issues in the world. I look forward to it every week.
Volunteer: Cultural Companions with World Relief. Once a week, I go to Kent, to hang out and spend time with a refugee family for a few hours. My partner and I visit the same family each week and help them with work from their English classes, hang out, learn, teach, and share life. It's only a quarterly commitment, so I can stop if my schedule is too crazy next quarter. The family is a lot of fun though! It's a husband, wife, and three year old son who fled Bhutan 20 years ago and lived in a refugee camp in Nepal for 20 years before coming to the US two months ago. I absolutely love it.
Decison(s) made.

YAY ME! Right?!

I then ran into a literal minor problem.

My minor.

I came to school intending to minor in French, but then learned about a unique program called Global and Urban Ministries. I figured that both programs would help me with my aspirations of teaching internationally (or more realistically, in high poverty areas within the US). Great right? Not so much. I can obviously only chose one, and this was harder than I thought.

[In case you haven't figured out, I'm not the most consistant blogger.... I began this post during the freak out, hair-pulling, on the verge of tears stage and have since (thank goodness!) moved forward. I started writing this post for the sole reason of being able to look back on it and laugh at how much I stressed over something that really wasn't a big deal at all. Mission accomplished.]

I'll finish the not-so-interesting story for you anyways...

I went into my advising session intending to minor in GUM but was told that "was the stupidest decision for a minor," by my adviser. Well crap. I cried to my mom and took her advice to not think about it for a few days to cool down and allow myself to listen to the Lord. My mom gives good advice. Not-so-final decision? Keep taking French classes. Wait to decide to minor in it. Not minor in GUM, but pick and choose classes from the program that I want to take (like World Religions). Decision made.

*Sigh of relief*

Up next on my decision list: Summer plans.
Real fast, here are my options as of now:

• Spend the summer in Salem working
• Spend the month of July teaching in India through SPU's Seattle Pacific Reach-out INTernational program (application due at the end of this month!!)
• Spend two months working as an intern for Because Justice Matters in San Francisco
• Spend two weeks in Bulgaria on a work and witness project with my church family (including my sisiter)

Decisions, decisions...

Oh hey, SPU

I had felt better about ceasing to blog in August because Jenna had as well... Even though I love her, sometimes I hate her. If she found time to update, I guess I can too.

Actually, please note the last part in my very drawn out Las Vegas triology.

So here's the deal. I love Seattle Pacific University.

I know without a doubt that I'm supposed to be here. I love our beautiful campus and the beautiful fall we're having! This is what I get to see out my window most days. We've only had a few days of rain. The other Pacific Northwesterners and I are not used to this much sun and warmth in October and November.

 The people I've met are absolutely amazing! My roommate Nicole, our self-proclaimed "sister roommates" Izzy and Sammy, and all the girls on my floor have become like family.

 Nicoley!

Sammy (New Hampshire), Izzy (Portland), Nicole (So Cal), and Me on our first ferry ride!

A portion of my floormates during our retreat to Camp Casey

Celebrating Jayde's birthday at the Cheesecake Factory

In other news, after weeks of moving between decision and indecision, I'm back to majoring in Integrated Studies (elementary education) with a concentration in Language Arts. That may  or may not change in the future. The average liberal arts student changes their major 3 times. One down, two to go.

Last week I started volunteering with World Relief through SPU. It's a porgram called Cultural Companions, and I get to go hang out with a refugee family for a few hours once a week with another student. We help them with English, adjusting to life in the US and we get to share life together. My family is a husband, wife, and 3 year-old son who came from a refugee camp in Nepal after fleeing from Bhutan. They are so funny and I love our time together so much. I can't wait to see where the next month takes us!

My classes are going really well. It took a while for me to warm up to my physical science class though. I love French, and I'm learning a lot in Children's Literature. There's a lot of depth to the books, and we're also learning how we can be teaching them too.

Living in Seattle is lots of fun too! I went to the Picasso exhibition at the Seattle Art Museum last week and had a blast. It was a sunny day so I walked down to 1st and Pike and grabbed coffee and browsed the fruits, veggies, and flowers. I also got to see MUMFORD & SONS! Ahhh! Two other girls on my floor were like me, we had tickets but no one to go with so we all went together and had a blast. One of the best concerts ever.

It's been nice to have visitors too! Heather came up, then Gregg, then my mom this weekend, then more friends the weekend after that. It's crazy, but it's fun too.

One more thing I love about SPU: Christmas has already begun here! I put on Christmas music last Wednesday and was definitely not the only one. We have since added Christmas lights to our room since this picture was taken, and my Pandora has been set to the Christmas station. Yay!

Las Vegas Pt. 3

I’ve had this Word document open for weeks, okay, months, and every time I open the page, it intimidates me and I end up spending an hour on Facebook…. So, sorry for the extreme lack of blogging. I think it’s because this experience is just so hard to put to words, and I’m worried people won’t believe or appreciate it. Heck, sometimes I don’t even believe it. God has truly blessed me with amazing friends though. When I’ve finally opened up and shared, they have gotten so excited, not for me, but about the awesome God we serve and about how He reveals Himself.  

Here is a story about a daughter meeting her Father and the lover of her soul:

On the last night in Las Vegas, we had a “commitment service.” A time to finally pause and think about the work God is doing in our own lives, and to make a commitment to continue ministry as we head home, even if it’s not full-time missions work. At the start of the service, Samuel, the leader, asked us to pray with a partner against anything else going on that would keep us from focusing the rest of the night. A fast friend, Diana, and I both prayed that we wouldn’t be apathetic. We were both so tired and worn out and could have easily fallen asleep during the slower worship songs. Last year, we had two services like this, so I just didn’t care that much because I had already done it. We didn’t want any of that stuff, we wanted to be open and excited and expectant that the Lord would do amazing things in the next few hours.

Starting worship, I easily fell into what I realized was a routine. Singing, closing my eyes once I knew the words, lifting my hands and my head, not always knowing why (if I’m being honest). After the first song, we were asked to find a place in our minds where we’re alone with Jesus. Sometimes, I physically shake my hands to symbolically shake off other things in my life keeping my mind away from the Lord. As I was shaking my hands, I stopped suddenly, and JESUS was in front of me.

Let that soak in.

…

Yeah.

My eyes still closed, tears started streaming down my face, landing in my mouth that was open in the biggest smile I’ve ever made. I questioned if it was just my imagination, but He answered me.

Yeah. With words.

I forget if I’ve already included this previously, but I’m doing it anyways. In the past, God had almost always communicated with me through really strong feelings. I could tell if He was leading me somewhere or to do something by how I felt towards it. Of course, He’s used passages in Scriptures and words in songs, but until that day, I had never literally heard the voice of God. We’d never had a conversation, back and forth, listening and responding, and I had been content with that. I knew that God heard my prayers, but there was always a distance between us. I knew the Holy Spirit lived in me, but, I don’t know, it was like a long distance phone call instead of a coffee date. If that makes sense.

I froze with my arms at my side, hands open and palms facing straight out. He met me there, mirroring my stance so our palms met and our eyes locked. I can’t describe what he looked like, it wasn’t a pure human image, I couldn’t draw a picture of him, but I knew I was looking into his eyes and holding his hands. I stood there, just in pure awe. I couldn’t find words for a while. Eventually, I sputtered words of thanks, praise, and questions of “Why me? I don’t deserve this.” He, on the other hand, was filled with words. So gentle and calm, he told me how much he loved me, that I was precious in his sight, that he desired for me.

I wrote in my journal during the service, “He looks in my eyes, holding my hands in his in front of me. Peace and authority in his eyes. There’s comfort. He’s beautiful. We dance, he leads, I’m his beloved daughter. ‘I love you, my child. I will be with you in fear, but know there is no need to have fear with me. Do not fear. I am here, my daughter, right in front of you. See my face? Hear my voice? I’m always here. Will you stay with me? Do you promise? I wrap my arms around you. Let me embrace you, Caroline, I want to embrace you.’”

As we talk, we also begin to dance. We’re two places at once, but it seems to make perfect sense. We’re in giant ballroom that makes me think of Beauty and the Beast, and I’m wearing a gorgeous, white ball gown with my hair and skin looking absolutely perfect. He doesn’t look like Prince Charming, but He is. We begin to dance and our feet don’t even touch the floor, we’re spinning and twirling around the room. I’m his bride, but also his daughter, and again, it makes perfect sense. He loves us in a way that we can’t even describe sometimes. It was the most magical feeling in the world.

I thought our dancing was just a vision, but when telling my story to the kids in my group, they informed me that I really was dancing, much to their confusion. As a leader from another group said, “I knew something was going on, and there was no way I was going to interfere with whatever you and the Lord were doing.”

Sitting across from Him, my hands still in His, my mind began to wonder how I could stay in this room, with my eyes closed, with Jesus for the rest of my life. How could I tell Chris that I’m not going home? Won’t the YWAM people understand if I sit in the middle of their floor for the next 60 years or so? Can I just shoo them all away with my arms so I can stay with Jesus? I began to pray to Jesus, asking Him not to leave me, pleading with Him to stay with me. He rolls his eyes, “Caroline, I’m staying with you, the question is, will you stay here with me? I decided to give up EVERYTHING for you a long time ago when I was on that cross. There’s no question about it, I’m in this for the long haul. Are you? It’s up to you. Are you going to stay with me?”

            “Uh, YES! Didn’t you hear me? I’m not going to open my eyes for a long long time.”

            “No, I want all of you. Forever. Can you promise me that?”

            Pause.

            “I want to, God, I really do, but I don’t know if I can promise that. I have fears, and they overtake me sometimes.”

            “Caroline, would you rather be any where else right now?” No. “Can you think of anyone else you’d rather be with right now?” I love my family so much, but at that moment, I would have said I’d never see them again if that’s what it would take to stay with Jesus. “And what is there to fear? I’m holding your hands, looking into your eyes, seriously, what is there to be afraid of? Don’t look to the left or to the right, just look straight ahead at me.”

            “Yes, okay, you have all of me, Jesus, forever. I promise.” He wraps me in His arms, and as He does, his spirit physically fills me. I breathe Him into me. Since then, when I’ve felt alone, or like God is in some far-off place, I breathe in and I’m reminded that He left his Holy Spirit with each and every one of us if we accept Him. He lives in me, and can live in you too.

I obviously wasn’t allowed to keep my eyes closed for the rest of my life. That’s not what He wants, he told me. He said that I had to open my eyes because of what we just discussed. Didn’t I want other people to feel the way I did right now? I did. Even people I don’t know, or people I don’t like, I wished they could have this. And they can. I had to open my eyes and leave the room eventually so that I could lead others to that spot with Jesus. The verse I read earlier in the day came back to me. Jesus tells his disciples, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” Jesus called me to love others in the same way he loved me here. His command isn’t just to love people how the world says we can love, but to love like Jesus. To teach, lead, care for, suffer for, and serve everyone.

Heavy, no?

Okay Jesus, now what?

I walked over to a wall sized map of the world expecting to be led to a certain country and then BOOM, I would know what I was supposed to do with the rest of my life.

Instead, I looked at each continent, and said, “Yeah, I could see myself there. Weird.” I asked Jesus, “Where do you want me? Where am I supposed to be?”

To my surprise, he responded with a question. “Why does it matter?”

Ummmmm.

“I’m going to be with you and use you wherever you are. Does it matter where that is?”

No?

“Okay. Seattle or South Africa, I’ll go or stay. Whatever you want of me, it’s yours.”

And then I saw this:

I’m in the desert with another woman, and we’re walking away from something, I don’t know what, or where we’re heading, but we’re definitely leaving. I hold her hand how Jesus held mine earlier. Her skin is covered in ashes, and her hair is messed up, tears have stained her cheeks. As we walk, I gently try to clean her up, and tell her how excited her Father is to see her again, that he can’t wait to meet with her.

Then we’re in this extravagant dressing room in a palace. She and I stand in front of a gold-framed mirror and I zip her into the white ball gown that I wore earlier. Her appearance is still dirty, and she’s sad. I put my hands on her shoulders and tell her how beautiful she is and how her father desires for her, and that it’s almost time to see him.

We walk down a corridor in this beautiful palace, hand in hand like before, and we reach two mahogany doors that extend yards above our heads. I open the door into the ballroom where Jesus and I danced and He’s there waiting for her in the middle of the floor. With my hand on this woman’s back, I whisper in her ear, “There He is, there’s your father, go dance with Him.” She slowly walks to meet him, and as she does, the ashes disappear from her skin, and her skin and hair are made perfect. She doesn’t look back because I don’t matter anymore; all that matters is the two of them. They begin to spin and daces as Jesus and I did and I stand in the open door, leading one woman after another into the room to dance with the lover of their soul. Eventually, the room is filled with couples dancing and twirling and spinning, and I look across the doorway as I continue to usher girl after girl into the room and see my Jesus who says, “Well done, my daughter.”

That is my Las Vegas story. Months (sorry) later I’m still pulling things from it and trying to figure out exactly where I’m supposed to go from there. I am, however, 100% sure it was from the Lord. After the service was done, a youth pastor from another church came up to me and said he had a verse for me. He told me that during the service he felt God point me out and say that he was delighted with me. Then he told this pastor the verse Matthew 5:8. The pastor had never received a verse for someone before but decided to be obedient in sharing it. Want to know what Matthew 5:8 says?

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will SEE GOD.”

Ha.

Oh Jesus, you sure are funny sometimes.

Las Vegas Pt. 2

DAY 3 – (PS. Sorry, I don't know what's going on with the weird formatting. I can't fix it. Maybe this is what happens when you copy/paste from Word...)

From my journal: “I already feel my inhibitions leaving. After sharing testimonies in our small groups, I realized that I don’t have to fear judgment. I hear everyone speak on the various ways they’re sinned and the struggles they have. I see God glorified through their openness in their testimonies and I wonder why I try to hide my own. Is it a lack of trust and faith? Maybe a big part of me doesn’t believe that what the Bible says about freedom is really true?”

That morning we were divided into our small groups that we’d meet with every morning for the rest of the week. That day, we spent the hour going around and sharing our testimonies. I was impressed with everyone’s honesty and how that freedom and honesty was part of their story. I wanted that freedom.

The first big activity was a scavenger hunt throughout the Strip. Unfortunately, I didn’t participate because I knew it would be a lot of running due to the race nature of the game. The groups searched for funny/obscure pictures in different shops and hotels/casinos. I, instead, got to hang out and chat with Celeste for a few hours (as well as shower without having to wait in a line). I didn’t mind missing out because I was really looking forward to our night activity, which was intercessory prayer on the Strip. Intercessory prayer is when you pray for something or someone else; you intercede on their behalf. Again, after the sun had been down for a bit, we headed out in our groups with chalk and walked around wherever God led us and just prayed silently with ourselves, or stopped our group to pray together. Some people wrote verses or encouraging messages and truths on the sidewalk with the chalk. I couldn’t get down, but I had another girl write, “You are loved and wanted.” It’s true. Everyone is loved and wanted by God, and I learned that in a mighty way.

The next few days all ran together in a blur. We had a session on evangelism/intercession/discipleship, then opportunities to go out in ministry. The sessions and ministry opportunities introduced techniques and tools to help us start conversations the led to the Gospel. Samuel, the director said, “It’s not evangelism unless you actually share the Gospel.” I had never thought of it that way. We can share God’s love in lots of ways, but think about it this way: We are commanded to love one another. What is the purest love? God’s love for us. Can we love exactly like Him? No, because he’s God and we are only human. What’s the next best thing? Telling people about the purest and best love. The best way we can love one another is to share the Gospel. I guess that reasoning made sense to me. 

 Different outreaches we did:

Free Prayer: Divided into pairs, we all gathered in one area and offered free prayer to passers by on Freemont street (the old strip). We had a “FREE PRAYER” sign and matching nametag type things so people could approach us, which they did, but we also asked people as they went by if we could pray for them. We got a lot of no’s, and a lot of people wanting prayer for a big jackpot. Not gonna lie, it was really discouraging sometimes. We often had to remind ourselves that God has planned who He wants us to talk to at that moment and who’s hearts he’s hardened. We prayed that we would hear His voice and His guidance and He would speak through us, that it wouldn’t be us, but Him. I did absolutely love it when someone stopped to share their heart with us and we could intercede for them, and also show that even in Vegas, with so many people there for themselves, we were there for them, that we cared about them, and more importantly, God cared for them and heard their cries.

Surveys: On this outreach, we were armed with questions about beliefs to use as conversation starters. We were sent out in pairs around the Miracle Mile Mall in Planet Hollywood and across from the Bellagio. We didn’t have to “stick to the script,” but were encouraged to try it all the way through at least once before ditching it if we didn’t like it. I personally felt more comfortable having something in front of me, and someone else’s words to use as a crutch when I was feeling insecure or nervous. Our questions were: 1) Do you believe there’s a god? 2) If yes, what do you think he/she is like? If no, is there a certain reason why not? 3) How do you explain the suffering in the world? 4) Do you think it’s possible to know God as your best friend? 5) If yes, are you interested in that? If no, why not? 6) Would you like to hear what our answers would be?

We got into some really interesting conversations due to some very interesting answers. I loved it though. Especially when I stood next to my partner awkwardly while she and a very nice gentleman (seriously, not being sarcastic) had a 20 minute conversation on the subject of evolution v, creation. People in malls in Vegas really like to tell people what they think. We loved to listen though.

Two by Two’s: After everyone had done both outreaches, we were let lose to chose whatever method worked best for how God equipped each of us. Some favored Free Prayer, some chose the random approach: “Hey, I like your shirt! Know what else I like? Jesus.” While some chose the simple direct approach: “Can I tell you about Jesus?” There were some funny stories about high fives, pick up lines, fake falls, and singing as well. God is creative, so why can’t his disciples be?

Going in to “evangelism” was a little frightening. The word came with negative connotations of angry people telling others how they’ve sinned and listing all the reasons why they don’t deserve God before telling them halfheartedly that Jesus loves them. I know so many people who have been turned off of the idea of God and of Christianity because of a negative experience with a Christian. I didn’t want to say something that would turn someone away from God. I figured it was better to say nothing at all as opposed to maybe saying the “wrong” thing. Thank goodness Samuel spoke on the very issue and led us to scriptures and examples to ease our fears and put our faith in trust back in Jesus as opposed to in ourselves and in our own abilities.

When I got home and told some friends about what we did, they gave me looks saying, “Seriously? You did that? In Las Vegas? Were people angry?” I thought people would be angry with us too at the beginning, but we were coming to them in love, with love as our whole composition, and I think people really felt that whenever we were talking to them. I think God really blessed our experiences because even though we were rejected many, many times, almost everyone was respectful of our group. I don’t think anyone went home with a memory so horrible that it frightened him or her from ever doing evangelism ever again. Everyone went home encouraged to share the gospel.

We also had the opportunity to spend half a day at the LVRM (Las Vegas Rescue Mission). For those of your Salem-ites, it’s very similar to the Union Gospel Mission, but at the LVRM they have a rehab center, so some people live there for a year at a time, or sometimes even just a week. Our time there was my favorite outreach we did. We got to really spend time with people, and we weren’t pulling them away from window shopping, or delaying them from losing a few bucks at a casino. I didn’t realize it until we were there after doing all our other activities how much I love serving the homeless in the ways we did. Some people handed out hygiene kits outside before the guests came into where the rest of us were waiting to serve them dinner. Half our group, including myself, was in the kitchen, and the other half got to sit and dine and talk to the guests which I was really bummed about missing. BUT I had the awesome task of being the one to hand everyone his or her meals at the end of our assembly line. To see the people so happy to be given what they desire and to be able to bless them in that way and smile and tell them to enjoy their meal was so great.

The very BEST part was after dinner though. It was Wednesday night and we got to do the church service for the residents. We had one hour and everyone had to be there and we were warned not to run long because some people would leave after the hour whether we were done or not. Without rehearsal or a solid knowledge of what we would do, I experienced one of the best church services of my life. The FL group led music that got literally EVERYONE off their rears to clap and dance and sing along. I was singing one of their songs in my car this morning, almost a month later. The CA group did one song, then a student from WA gave a really powerful testimony of becoming a new creation like it talks about in 2 Corinthians 5:17. I also gave my testimony/message about how God meets us where we are. We don’t have to climb to certain point on a ladder before he comes to us, we don’t have to do this and that before he’s willing to communicate with us, we don’t have to clean ourselves up first because He wants to do it, and frankly, do a much better job of it. The pastor from CA gave the message on freedom, then everyone came to sing “How He Loves” and we ended with the residents raising their hands so we would go pray with them one on one. TWO MEN CAME TO CHRIST THAT NIGHT!!!! PTL!!!!! I loved talking to the people there, and more importantly, I loved listening to them and praying with them and seeing them dance around. I also realized that I like speaking in front of people. I felt totally comfortable on stage sharing my story and encouraging them to pursue a relationship with Jesus. Newly discovered spiritual gift??? Maybe.

Our ministry opportunities were amazing and they gave us different ways of approaching the gospel message so we could find one the gelled with us. The most impacting things for me happened at the base instead of on the Strip though… More to come in Part 3 :) :) :)

Las Vegas Pt. 1

I soon realized after posting about half of my trip into the text box for one post that it would be way too long for normal humans to bare. The first few days are pretty specific, while the middle days of ministry blur together, then the last day or so is where some heavenly magic happened so I broke my postings up accordingly. The posts are pretty much either direct quotations from my journal entries from the week or elaborations on them with only a hint of hindsight.

Please enjoy part one of my missionary saga...

DAY 1 --

Beginning the week, I didn’t know what to expect, and I didn’t know what to hope for, but I knew what I was scared for. I was scared of rejection, I was scared that relationships within the group would be stressed, scared that God wouldn’t do wonderful things and/or I wouldn’t let Him do amazing things, I was even scared that the insanely hot weather would negatively affect my attitude. Praise God that He wants to be bigger and more powerful than our fears.

I went into the week blind as to what was coming. None of us knew the activities, how many people would be there, if we would be mixing with other church groups, or any other helpful details. I wish I could say I was excited, but my heart just wasn’t into it the days before we left and even as we were piling into the packed van. Not only was I uncomfortable with the idea of spending 10 days with more middle school boys than I thought doing street evangelism on the Strip, but I was physically uncomfortable due to the worst sunburn of my life. The back of my legs were so burnt and blistered after a beach trip on Wednesday that I couldn’t walk normally or bend my knees. Over the course of the van ride that day, my ankles, feet and calves began to swell for the first time ever, causing even more pain, discomfort, and honestly, some fear. Unfortunately, this persisted for most of the week, but more to come on that later. Despite my poor physical condition, my excitement grew during the 10 hours in the van, and that night when we reached Reno I was anxiously anticipating our arrival the following afternoon.

Our devotional lesson that night ended up being the perfect introduction to what the week would bring, now that I look back on it. Christopher brought our attention to Luke 24:13-32, a passage that describes two men who were too busy mourning Jesus’ death that they didn’t recognize that they were walking next to him and conversing with him. Too often we are the two men who ignore and/or don’t seek the presence of Jesus in our lives. How would we act if we were constantly aware of God’s presence? The rest of the week really challenged everyone to see God’s work in the city and in our own lives. I had been taught that God is everywhere, but I never stopped to consider what that meant for my own life and my relationship with him. Even though God is there doesn’t meant that we recognize him and let that knowledge change us and set us apart. After that, we shared what we were looking forward to most. I was very excited to meet people and have conversations with them, similar to my experience last year. Like last year, I really discovered what it meant to see people through God’s eyes, as His children, wanted and loved in His sight. I wanted the same experience. It was really cool to hear the other kids in the group, especially those on 13 years old, share their expectations of seeing people come to Christ, of breaking out of their comfort zone, of proclaiming the Gospel boldly. It was encouraging to be reminded that we were all there for the same purpose. That night God brought to mind a passage in 1 Corinthians where Paul writes about preaching the Gospel “not with wisdom and eloquence, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power . . . For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified . . . So that your faith might not rest on human wisdom but on God’s power.” I needed to rely on God’s power as opposed to my own, and I needed to allow him to work in and through me.

Unfortunately, I feel like the trip can be broken up into two parts, me struggles vs. group experiences. Ideally, everything would fit into “group experiences,” but my various injuries took me on my own winding road. Friday night, it hurt to walk and I was fearful of what the next day would bring. I remember praying that God would heal me, or reveal to me the reason He was allowing this to happen.

“God, why am I hurting? Why won’t you make this go away? I want to be able to go, and move, and not be crippled! Gah! This is so frustrating! Horrible timing! Please let me recover tomorrow! Please…”

It’s kind of funny, the days before the trip I had a feeling that Satan was going to try to stop me from going, and I ended up being right. My dad went as far as to call my mom in an attempt to keep me home because of my sunburn. Psh, like I was going to stay home because of a sunburn. I had hoped that was the extent of Satan’s meddling, but when my ankles started swelling, I knew it was another attempt at stopping me from going out and sharing the Gospel. I wish I could say it didn’t work, but it did to a certain extent.

DAY 2 –

In the car ride from Reno down to the YWAM base in Las Vegas, we were “surrounded” with desert. I put the quotations because it felt like nothing was around us. I never appreciated the desert scenery, and honestly I still don’t favor it, but after a few hours of looking out the window, I began to see the beauty of God’s creation in the rough mountains, the colors of the sand, and patterns of cacti etc. The drive down was a good indicator of what the rest of the trip would be, seeing God’s beauty in new and previously unappreciated things.

When we stepped out of the van at the YWAM base, we definitely weren’t on the Strip. The base is in what would be Vegas’ “red light district,” and honestly, isn’t that where the church should be? It was a sweltering 113 degrees outside and I was dumbstruck that the staff girls were wearing jeans. That went all the way to their feet. Whaa? They said you get used to the heat after a few weeks. The rest of the evening consisted of a pizza dinner with the three other church groups and an overview of the rules of the base. With the other groups, there was 40-something of us participating in the program, and I didn’t know if we were going to be working together or simply living together. We found out the next morning that we were all there as one large group, and our church groups were pretty much disbanded, which scared me at first but I loved that I knew everyone by the end of the week. There was a youth group of mostly girls from the Los Angeles area who I roomed with, a youth group from outside Spokane, WA who we meshed with really well, and a group of 35-70 year olds from Orlando, FL. The groups from CA and FL were so much fun because of the difference between their church and my own. When the adults from FL led some spontaneous worship before dinner or something, I experienced true gospel music (everyone from FL and CA was black, so just imagine how cool it was singing and clapping and stomping and shouting like I’ve only seen in movies).

After the sun had been down for a while and it had “cooled down” to a refreshing 100 degrees, everyone piled into vans and we drove a few miles to a point overlooking the entire city. We gathered and listened to facts about the place we would be serving for the next week.

Did you know that Las Vegas is…

·       First in the nation in divorce, high school dropouts, homicide against women, rape, armed robbery, meth abuse and gambling addictions (8 billion dollars a year is gambled there)

·       Second in the nation in auto theft

·       Third in the nation in bankruptcies

·       Fourth in the nation in alcohol related deaths and suicide

·       42 million dollars is spent on advertising for sex annually (Ex: there are 150 pages in the phone book offering a “good time”)

·       Considered to be the epicenter of North American prostitution and trafficking. The sex business there generates nearly 6 billion dollars in revenue per year

·       Over 33 million people visit the city annually from all over the world

I’m not going to pretend to have remembered all of that, the facts from the brochure on the Mission Adventure program at the base. We also learned about the frustrations with the local government and their mistreatment of the homeless, and the lack of action against the sex trade. More interesting than statistics though was the way he presented it. He showed us that the negative images we have of Las Vegas (sex, money, fame, materialism etc) are all exploitations of our own sin. No one can say they’re above it all, because we deal with exactly the same things, just on a smaller scale for the most part. We then had the opportunity to stand over the city and pray with people from all over the world for the week ahead and Las Vegas in general but also specifically. A staff girl brought a guitar and worshiped and I decided to join her and sing some Phil Wickham songs :) On a different note, my ankles were at their largest that night and I was seriously scared. It hurt to have any pressure on them at all, and I was reduced to sitting on a rock instead of standing over the city. I so wanted to focus solely on my prayers for Las Vegas, but they quickly turned into prayers for myself. Despite that though, the night was a wonderful way to start our ministry there.

It's Currently 4am :/

Current favorite songs:

Anything by Gungor

I was recently introduced to this artist by my youth pastor and his songs quickly became the unofficial soundtrack of our trip. The acoustic style and simple truths put to poetic lyrics help create an awesome worship time.  

Beautiful Things, Dry Bones, Cannot Keep You, The Earth Is Yours

 

What Do I Know of Holy by Addison Road

 

What Have I Done by Adie

 

Rescue by Desperation Band  

  

Anything by Enter the Worship Circle

I have their Chair and Microphone Vol. 3 album, and I'm absolutely in love with every single minute of it. The song Hold Me Near is super beautiful.

Your Hands by JJ Heller

Dance With Me by Jesus Culture

 

Divine Romance by Phil Wickham 

well anything by him = <3

Hurricane by Jimmy Needham

 

How He Loves by John Mark McMillan

 

Other current loves:

Adele
Mumford & Sons
Ingrid Michaelson
Iron and Wine
Sara Bareilles
Coldplay
Feist
Vampire Weekend
She & Him
Jenna Ahn for giving me close to 5gb of music for my birthday <3

McFlurries and Other Cravings

During my 24 hour flu (who gets the flu in July?! what the heck?) I enjoyed many episodes of 30 Rock thanks to Netflix instant streaming. After watching an episode in which two of the characters spend close to 5 minutes discussing the wonderfulness that is a McFlurry, I am craving one like no other. Mmmmm :)

Instead of driving to McDonald's and ordering one, I decided to Blog. I decided I really like doing it, even if I don't do it that often. Speaking of blogging, I'm working on my Las Vegas summary, if you could call it that... Let's just say it will be a fairly long summary.

Since my Vegas trip, I turned 18! Yay! I still haven't done anything 18-ey yet. No R rated movies, lottery tickets, piercings/tattoos or cigarettes. I did get a lovely surprise though :) Our van pulled into the church at around 6:30, I was home at around 7, and at around 9...

Ethan (the tiger), Zach, and Jenna!!!!

This summer has been CRAZY weird, and I feel like I haven't gotten to spend time with my closest friends due to horrible schedules. I've been craving to see my friends, and though I still have to wait to reconnect with some, I absolutely loved my birthday present of having these three there :) 

How can it not be a party with a tiger, photo booth, chocolate cake, and 30 Rock?

Fulfilling another craving, the four of us ventured to Lincoln City a few days later. 

It was a tad windy and cold, but the boys still ran into the ocean (and regretted it later). We flew, or attempted to fly, Zach's Batman kite, or effigy, as Ethan called it. Lots of failures with that, but when it stayed in the air for more than 5 seconds, we were extremely excited. The last picture was taken after we hit the snooze button on Ethan's pleas to build  a sand castle. After we got up, we realized  we had no tools other than our hands and three frisbees to construct said castle. After about 10 minutes, we were very proud of our sand volcano (sadly no picture) and rewarded ourselves with ice cream. 

Jenna and Ethan also bought extreme Pop Rocks, but I wouldn't call that a reward. It was more like punishment...

I love my friends <3

I'm trying not to think about the fact that a lot of them leave for college in just a few weeks.... Oh boy. I don't quite know what to do when that happens.
 

New favorite thing: Skype

This week was also VBS! (Mission trip in Las Vegas + Crew leader at VBS =  Flu) I only missed the last day, but the four before it were so much fun. I loved my 14 3rd and 4th graders :) One little boy in my group, Weylin, invited Jesus in to his heart on Thursday!!!!!!! Whoo hoo!!!!!!!! My kids made me a Get Well card when I was sick too. Absolutely precious. 

I always love seeing kids worship and learn from the Bible in a way that isn't hindered by the adult focus at church every Sunday. I think they're underestimated so much. We don't give them enough credit, and don't believe that they can have their own relationship with Jesus Christ. We think it's only something for grown-ups, and that is definitely not true. I love that we can refocus on the kids during the one week in July. 

God bless the kiddos.

I promise a post on Las Vegas soon. ish... If I had to sum it up into two words though: 

God spoke.

I bet you're excited to read it now, huh?