Happy Easter all!
Easter has always been odd in my family, and this year seems no different. When I was younger, it was the day that my sister and I fought the most, probably because we were already ticked off that we were in these horrible dresses. My poor mother... It was her favorite holiday and she wanted so badly for us to all look nice and go to church and spend the day as a nice happy family. What she got was two grumpy kids who cared too much about the chocolate eggs and what was in the prized Easter basket. The night before, my dad would secretly sit my sister and I down and tell us very kindly how important it was that we be good for Mommy tomorrow. My poor father... We never listened.
Again today, I feel like I'm reacting differently than I should. I should have this huge joy on the day that we celebrate Jesus rising and defeating sin and death, but instead I'm feeling a little down.
I'm sad and I shouldn't be, but I am.
I know the great truth of what Christ has done for me, and though I should be filled with joy because of it, things still get me down. My world shakes and I feel like I've lost control, and it's hard for me to accept that my feeling this way is God. But it is. I have to accept that His will is far greater than my will, and He will have his way and I'll thank Him for it eventually. Right now I have to have to have to trust that He's in control of the things that other people do to me too.
Romans 8:28 says "And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
I have to let go, and feel the pain, and allow the joy to heal it.
Psalm 42:11 - "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."
This past summer I was reading Psalms and it really struck me how the Psalmist would start out asking God why He had forsaken them, or why all of this crap was going on, and the Psalmist would be really angry with Him, but through the process, he praises God. He PRAISES when he's going through is own personal hell. It's like he's saying "Yeah okay, this sucks right now and I want You to know that I'm kinda hating everything, God, but I guess You're bigger and stronger and all-loving and I know that You are bigger than my problems and these struggles and it will be better in Heaven if not before then. Okay, let's do this thing!"
So I guess now it's my turn to say "Okay, let's do this thing!" Here I go to find joy after APAH homework...
Easter has always been odd in my family, and this year seems no different. When I was younger, it was the day that my sister and I fought the most, probably because we were already ticked off that we were in these horrible dresses. My poor mother... It was her favorite holiday and she wanted so badly for us to all look nice and go to church and spend the day as a nice happy family. What she got was two grumpy kids who cared too much about the chocolate eggs and what was in the prized Easter basket. The night before, my dad would secretly sit my sister and I down and tell us very kindly how important it was that we be good for Mommy tomorrow. My poor father... We never listened.
Again today, I feel like I'm reacting differently than I should. I should have this huge joy on the day that we celebrate Jesus rising and defeating sin and death, but instead I'm feeling a little down.
I'm sad and I shouldn't be, but I am.
I know the great truth of what Christ has done for me, and though I should be filled with joy because of it, things still get me down. My world shakes and I feel like I've lost control, and it's hard for me to accept that my feeling this way is God. But it is. I have to accept that His will is far greater than my will, and He will have his way and I'll thank Him for it eventually. Right now I have to have to have to trust that He's in control of the things that other people do to me too.
Romans 8:28 says "And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
I have to let go, and feel the pain, and allow the joy to heal it.
Psalm 42:11 - "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."
This past summer I was reading Psalms and it really struck me how the Psalmist would start out asking God why He had forsaken them, or why all of this crap was going on, and the Psalmist would be really angry with Him, but through the process, he praises God. He PRAISES when he's going through is own personal hell. It's like he's saying "Yeah okay, this sucks right now and I want You to know that I'm kinda hating everything, God, but I guess You're bigger and stronger and all-loving and I know that You are bigger than my problems and these struggles and it will be better in Heaven if not before then. Okay, let's do this thing!"
So I guess now it's my turn to say "Okay, let's do this thing!" Here I go to find joy after APAH homework...
