My Weekend

finals...

Worth it?

You're probably wondering:

what in the world could be worth this?

doughnuts.

lots and lots of doughnuts.

hey, if they're good enough for the president, they're good enough for us.

30 Degrees

It's currently 30 degrees outside.
[It's supposed to get down to 18.]

...I've been complaining about being cold for over a day.

Right now, I'm very convicted to pray and to do something about the thousands of homeless people in Seattle who are much colder than I am.

Yet I feel trapped by my circumstances.

<< What am I supposed to do?? >>


Seriously.

Oh baby baby

Thank you to our Presidents for treating me to a nice three-day weekend and the perfect opportunity for a mental health rest at home.

On Friday night, I stuffed my car with four girls and lots of luggage and laundry and headed south. After hitting more traffic than expected, I arrived home. Ahhhh.

My sister and step-dad were there, my mom would be home from Orlando the next night. I was so wonderful to sit on my couch, be with my family, sleep in my room, and be in my town. I got to spend time with my friend, Surabhi, and hear about her exciting life as a Willamette freshman/sorority girl. We walked around a beautiful, sunny downtown Salem sipping a lattes from Clockworks. Everything we passed made me feel at home, at rest, and at peace.

This quarter has been really busy for me (hence the lack of posts). I'm a nanny, and I work 12 hours a week over 4 days with a 2 year old and 4 month old. Both adorable girls, but it's tiring work. SPRINT is staring to rev up, and it's taking up more time than I anticipated, so I'll have to adjust. My classes are a lot of work too. I love my Christian Formation class, but Biology and French are giving me a hard time. At this point, I have 3 more weeks of instruction, then finals, then spring break. The light at the end of the tunnel. This past week in particular, I had almost every minute planned out. This weekend at home came at the perfect time.

While I was home, I also got to see my step-brother and sister-in-law. They're expecting their first child in July, and found out on Friday that they'll be having a little boy! I'm going to have a nephew!!!! I'm going to have to budget my money well so I don't spend it all on baby toys/clothes/books for the little Peanut.

The best part of my weekend, however, was church Sunday morning. I definitely missed my family, but I missed my church family just as much this time. I had been looking forward to going back to SSNaz for about a month. I picked a wonderful weekend to come home because I was there for the announcement that

Chris and Beth are HAVING A BABY!!!!!!! 

(If you didn't pick up on it, I'm more than excited)

On September 5th, little Cadence Emery or Judah Emerson will grace us with her/his presence in the world after long, excited, anticipation.

I can't even find words to express how much joy this news brings me.

Chris, my youth pastor, and Beth are my leaders, my brother or sister, and my best friends. Needless to say, they are two of the most important people in my life right now, and I love them so very much and know that they will be the absolute best parents ever. They each have so much love, passion, kindness, patience... I should pretty much just list the fruits of the spirit here. It meant so much to me that I was there to share in their excitement and joy as they shared with the church. I don't think I could handle it being any other way.

Last night I was telling my great friend, Sammy, about my weekend. I realzied I'm definitely in a baby season. I've never had a baby season! It will be fun though. I love being with Emma, the 4 month old whom I nanny, and being an aunt to Baby Peters and Baby May will be so joyous.

Going back to church is always a wonderful time for me because I'm reminded of the family that I have. I am reminded that I am still part of my Salem families, and it makes me appreciate my Seattle families. A hard, but great moment for me was during the service, a group of my small group girls from the summer went down to pray. It was so beautiful to witness the result of their individual growth, and their growth together as a family. (Noticing a theme word?) I was about to go down and join them, but I felt God keeping me in my pew. I reached my hand out toward them and prayed for them from where I was. It was a very concrete visual of my role now. Now, my role is to love them from afar, to pray for them, and to pray for the new leaders. It's hard, no lie, but it will be great. It already is.

Praise God for the weekend, for family, for family outside those related to us, for babies, for safe drives, for church, for joy, for peace, for rest, for refreshment, and for the home that He's preparing for us that is a million times better than any place we may find here on Earth.

It's that time of year again

Oh Valentine's Day...


Normally, I am not a fan of Valentine's day, but for some reason, my heart fluttered when I saw the pink and red aisles in the store today. If I had made New Years resolutions, I think being crafty would have been one of them. I snagged some heart shaped doilies for a buck or so and made my first Valentine of the season.

Who is it for?


[Your guess is as good as mine.]

मैं भारत के लिए जा रहा हूँ means...

i'm going to

 oh yeah.

wow.

story to come later, but I am so excited, I had to share the news.

wow wow wow.

god is good.

It's okay if you read this a million times.

I want you to be all Mine. I am weaning you from other dependencies. Your security rests in Me alone; not in other people, not in circumstances. Depending only on Me may feel like walking on a tightrope, but there is a safety net underneath: the everlasting arms. So don't be afraid of falling. Instead, look ahead to Me. I am always before you, beckoning you on - one step at a time. Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, can separate you from My loving Presence.

- Sarah Young's "Jesus Calling"

At Church Today...

...we ran and danced through the aisles singing this song.

 

 

 

 

 

Very rarely have I felt this much joy.

 

 

"Nothing, Lord, is hindering this passion in my soul!"

Waiting Period

I mentioned in an earlier post about various options of how to spend my summer. Since November, my list has changed. I feel extremely drawn to the prospect of doing a SPRINT (Seattle Pacific Reach-out INTernational) trip. After hearing about the trip options, I applied for the program at the end of November. As an applicant, you list your top three trip preferences, but the student-led SPRINT Core determines your team and location. My first preference was to go to India and teach in four different schools during the month of July, and my second was to go to Russia and spend time in a childrens Tuberculosis center. All applicants have an interview with a few members of the SPRINT Core in January, then acceptance packets are sent out at the end of the month. After that, we have a week to accept or deny the invitation, and then we're off! We begin getting to know our teammates, fundraising, learning about the culture of the country we'll be in, and all the little things that come along with those.


I had my SPRINTerview (cute, right?) yesterday and it went really well! The interview isn't meant to weed anyone out, or scare them out of a trip. The Core members want to get to know us outside of our written application. They encourage honesty, and remind us that there are no right/wrong answers. I was interviewed by the SPRINT student leader, and another member who went to India two years ago. The girl who went to India is in some of my education classes, which made me more nervous at first, but it was definitely a blessing to have her in the room. She understood my heart for education, and told me a little more about her SPRINT experience. In my interview, I became progressively more and more excited about the trip. I was honest and told them how much higher India was in comparison to the other locations in terms of preference, but followed that by admitting that my will is not always aligned with God's and I trust Him to lead the Core members to place me where He wants me to go, even if it's not India. (The Core members spend an entire day praying over the applications and interview summaries as they put together teams). I really felt like I could be myself and that I was talking to friends as opposed to interviewers. I left after and hour (the interview was only supposed to take 45 minutes. Whoops! I could have told you that I'm good at rambling though...) and was walking on air. I had, and still have, so much peace about the whole thing! I am so aware that this is where God wants me to be right now. I met my friends for dinner and without me saying a word, they could tell that I had so much joy from it! I feel like it's still spilling over :) I am continuing to pray that God would lead the SPRINT Core and the applicants during the rest of the interviews, and that His will would be done in terms of teams and locations. We all want to serve Him and I trust that He's going to have us do it in the best way possible.


On the subject of interviews, I had another one this morning for a mother's helper a mile away in Queen Anne! I'd get to play with a two-year-old and a three-month-old three hours a night a couple times a week while their mom gets things done around the house and makes dinner. So much fun! The girls are precious and the parents were super sweet. They're interviewing two more people, but I'll know if I got it Monday night. Again, I'm praying that they would find someone who will work perfectly with their family, and make their life easier, even if it's not me.

So right now I'm waiting. Waiting on so many things, but for maybe the first time in my life, I'm content with waiting. This is a big deal. Patience is definitely not a perfected virtue in my life. I talked with my mom today and so many things about the summer are up in the air, but I was able to say, "let's wait and deal with that later. Let's not worry about it now. We'll figure it out. Don't worry." Um, was that me talking?! Whaaa?

I know that this summer holds travel (Hawaii, SPRINT, and possibly Israel with my mom), a wedding (my old nanny/big sister Michelle!!!!!!), and a BABY (did I mention I'm going to be an aunt?! My sister-in-law is due July 10th). Goodness gracious, I can't wait.

But, sigh... I must.

On a slight side note -- God is really good.
Yesterday after my interview I had dinner with some of my favorite people on campus, then we sunggled into our marriage bed (we pushed our twin beds together to create one big bed) and we watched Sleepless In Seattle. I love watching girlie movies with a bunch of girlie girls because it makes everything that happens ten times sweeter and ten times more romantic. Today I had a wonderful morning walking around Queen Anne, which is seriously one of the cutest places ever! I was so happy it wasn't raining I decided to walk around some more after my interview. I stumbled upon Macrina Bakery & Cafe and grabbed a scone and a drink to go (SO good!) and sipped it as I talked with my mom and sister on the phone on my way back to campus.
Even though it's been rainy and fairly gross in Seattle this week, I've found so much joy, and that truly is a blessing from God.

And that's pretty much my life right now. I'll keep you updated on SPRINT and jobs :)

Enjoy the long weekend!

Being Undignified

One of my favorite things about being in Seattle is Sunday mornings. 

 

For the past few Sundays that I've been on campus, I've hopped on the bus at 9:22am to make the 10:30 service at the Church of the Undignified in Capitol Hill. The church is so different from anything I've experienced before. For one, it's in a movie theater and there's always popcorn set out by the coffee. (I had curry popcorn on Sunday and could not stop eating it!) The people in the small congregation are so filled with the Holy Spirit that it makes me eager to deepen my relationship with God. They encourage me and spur me on in my walk of increasing faith. 

 

I'm learning how much I don't know about God and His heart, but I feel like I'm at a place in my life (spiritually and geographically) where I'm ready to grow in that knowledge. As soon as I get back to SPU in the afternoon, I'm already looking forward to the next Sunday morning :)

 

The worship is great too. We sing a lot of Jesus Culture and the songs go forever. This past Sunday, I was introduced to a new song that came at exactly the right time.

One Thing Remains by Jesus Culture

Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant through the trial and the change
One thing remains
One thing remains

Your love never fails it never gives up it never runs out on me
 

On and one and on and on it goes
It overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never ever have to be afraid
One thing remains

In death and in life I'm confident and covered by the power of your great love
My debt is paid there's nothing that can separate my heart from your great love

 

>>Listen to it here

Seriously, one of my new favorite songs! During worship I found my self sitting on the floor, just filled with contentment and peace at being in His presence. With a joyous smile, I sang these words out to Him, and His response way funny. (I had a talk with my friend Bridget once about God's humor. He's a seriously funny guy). I felt him kind of chuckle and say, "I know, Caroline." Duhh. God knows how great He is, it isn't news to Him. But then he followed it with, "It makes me happy that you know it too!"  

 

It reminded me of a time when I was babysitting a little girl from my church, Grace. She was two, then, and we were watching Sleeping Beauty. She was very confused about different hair colors (blond and brunette) and keep asking if Sleeping Beauty was a brunette and if I was a blond. I would try to tell and show her, "Look Grace, you are blond like Sleeping Beauty, but I'm a brunette like Belle. See how they're different colors?" 

 

Weeks later at church, Grace walked down during worship and sat with me during the beginning of the serivce. Out of nowhere, she whispers to me, "Look, Caroline! I'm blond like Sleeping Beauty!" And you know what I did? I chuckled and said, "I know Grace!" Though I knew this already, I was happy that she had finally figured it out. 

 

While I am absolutely NOT trying to compare a glimpse of God's love with the understanding of hair colors, I am trying to share about the joy that God finds when we finally figure something out. We are proud of it, and we run to tell our Father what we've learned, He holds us and smiles because he is proud of us for finally knowing it too.

Daily Bread

My SMC (Student Ministry Coordinator) sent out this devotional and I thought I'd share it with you all.

I have been reading some of the book of Exodus lately and recently came across the passage in Exodus 16:19-21 where Moses warns the Israelites not to try to preserve manna and collect more than enough for the day. Those who don't listen and gather too much find that the next day the left over manna is rotten and maggot-ridden.
This got me to thinking about God's provision, and how our view of being comfortable and well cared for looks nothing like the day to day reliance that the Israelites were forced to learn. There was no other food in the desert, and their only hope for survival was the manna that they trusted God would provide them. This time in our lives can be pretty unsettling at times. Let's face it, other than what classes we are taking and some general idea of where we want to be in ten years, most of us have no idea what we are doing. Yet, we try to control what direction our life is going, what we spend our time on and who we choose to love. We are then surprised and offended when things don't turn out as we planned, when our stockpiling ideas and "plan B's" fall to pieces, or in the Israelites' case, maggots.
So if you feel like things are uncertain and your direction makes no sense, if you have no idea where your help will come from tomorrow, remember that when Jesus taught us to give thanks for our DAILY bread, he meant it. We aren't supposed to have monthly bread supplies(figuratively or literally), if we did there would be no need for faith.




In Matthew 6, Jesus also talks about how we can have faith in his provisions and to not store up earthly treasures that will rot away. Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I love the Bible.

May you enjoy your daily bread today and in the days to come 

Dear Lindsey

Linds, this blog post is for you :)

I am so giddy with excitement for you as you begin your next big adventure in Australia! Seriously, I am giddy. It has always been apparent to me that God destined you for extremely great things, things greater than even you could imagine. I know that Hillsong is just one of many many more great things to come. You are anointed, my dear friend. Through your obedience to the Father, you already have done great things in my life, and in the lives of others.

Lindsey, you are a shining example of faith and joy! You do not have a perfect life (no one does), things have gone wrong, and maybe you don't wake up with a smile every morning, but your love for the Lord is constantly apparent no matter the situation. You see His blessings and His hand in every instance, and in doing so, you've opened my eyes to those things when sometimes I don't feel like looking for them. Your faith in this entire process is simply beautiful, and even more beautiful is how the Lord has blessed you because of it. "Truly I tell you," Jesus said to them, "no one who has left home or wife or brother or sisters or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come eternal life." Luke 18:29-30.
Your commitment to purity is incredibly inspiring and encouraging and I can guarantee that your wedding will be one of the most beautiful things I even witness. Thank you for your openness and honesty and for the invitation to be open and honest in return. I will always remember tear-filled heart-to-hearts in the parking lot at GU, various bedrooms, and the occasional back yard. It has been so much fun being a teenage girl with you. I feel like everyone else has missed out on a vital part of life. You are also so silly, and I LOVE it! Thank you for introducing me to the JoBros and Taylor Swift :) I already miss your precious laugh, and seeing you find joy in unexpected things. It is so hard to be sad or angry around you for longer than a minute. I have no doubt that you will make life-long friends while in Australia, and that it won't take long for everyone to fall head-over-heels in love with you like so many of us in the States have.

It has been such a blessing to grow with you. I cannot describe how it felt to watch you worship at Gateway a few weeks ago. At one point I stopped singing, looked at you and just praised the Father because of what I was witnessing. It was beautiful. It wasn't a performance, but an intimate conversation with the ultimate lover of your soul. It was so evident that those were your words and music. "I cried out to him with my mouth; his praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and has heard my prayer. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!" Psalm 66:17-20. I am excited to hear about how this grows and changes while at Hillsong, and I cannot wait to worship with you again when you're home!

Always always ALWAYS know how much you are loved, and the multitude of prayers being lifted up for you every single day. You are loved by the Lord and your are loved by your friends and family more than you can comprehend.

I wish you joy, growth, love, adventure, comfort, energy, strength, courage, and an ever-open heart for the Lord to do with what He wants. Lindsey, you are truly "living a life worthy of the calling you have received"!

"Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant - not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills but the Spirit gives life." 2 Corinthians 3:4-6

I love you Linds!!!