Not Really A Post

So I've been meaning to write a prequel to my Vegas trip, but have consistently put it off...

I don't need to write one for any other reason than for myself. This blog, in case you haven't noticed, has ended up serving more like a journal for me as opposed to whatever blogs normally are. I've never been good with journaling, but before I realized that, I would buy bunches of new journals thinking that this would be when I became deep and insightful and a person who writes in a journal. Now I've just accepted that I'm not one of those people. 

Blogging however, makes it easier for me to write "snippets and insights" into both everyday and special events so I don't forget them and especially how I felt at the time. I know it's important for me to write about what I'm sure will be an amazing experience, and that begins with discussing how I feel before it embark on it. 

Whatever, I still have 56 hours to put it off.  

Oh procrastination, I feel like I'm in high school again. 

Speaking of high school, AP scores came today! 4s in Statistics and Art History, and a 5 in English Literature. I can honestly say I was happily surprised at all three of this year's scores.  Plus, I'm going into SPU with 25 credits under my belt thanks to those and US History and US Government and Politics. Halfway to being a sophomore!!

From Sprague High to Seattle Pacific

So I somewhat stupidly promised a post about graduation. I decided to provide mostly pictures, along with an update about SPU.

My very best friends: Madison and Jenna

Walking with Maddie

Co-salutatorians! "Yay for mediocrity!" - Kelsey P.

So I graduated! I found myself going back to school less than a week later just to say hello. It was a strange feeling. For a while, I looked forward to graduation and to college, believing that it would be easy to say goodbye and move upwards and onwards. Even as recent as a few months ago I said that to a friend of mine who agreed, then, like me, was surprised at the difficulty and the uneasiness that the end of the year brought. I couldn't say "goodbye" but always "see you soon/later" etc. It's still hard getting used to the fact that I don't see my friends or people in general every day. I have to actually make the effort to hang out with people I care about (which is also hard due to crazy summer schedules). During graduation week, all these things never hit me, and I haven't had a meltdown (yay!). Weird. Now, I'm the opposite of what I expected. For the most part, I'm scared about going to college, meeting new people, moving on and forgetting/letting go of the relationships I spent years forming in high school. More so, I'm worried that my friends won't have the same determination to stay close. I really shouldn't say I'm scared about college and all that it entails. I'm actually really really realllllly excited. This weekend I went up to Seattle with my mom for New Student Advising (NSA) on Friday. I spend the day at the school registering for classes and learning about life at SPU. There wasn't a specific time slot for introducing yourself to other students, but in the inbetween time I met a smattering of fellow freshman. Some I connected to more than others, but with 720+ people in my class, I'm sure I'll meet some amazing people. During the day, we broke into groups based on our intended major so faculty members could help us choose what classes to take for Fall Quarter. For those of you who don't know, I'm planning on becoming an elementary teacher, which means I'll major in integrated studies. My schedule for Fall Quarter is....

• University Seminar: From Page to Stage -- All freshman have to take a USEM as kind of an welcome-to-college course and the one I chose is with an amazing prof, plus we "take advantage of Seattle's live theater opportunites." Can't wait.
• French (1st quarter 2nd year) -- Scariest thing ever. Because I hadn't taken a placement test for language, I had an on the spot interview in French with the head of Foreign Languages. I didn't know what was going on, then she started asking me all these questions in French, and I had to respond in the same manner. I guess I did okay, I get to skip 3 classes :)
• Intro to Physical Science -- Haven't taken this subject since freshman year, a little scared, but it's a required course for my major.
• Childrens Literature -- Another required course, but I'm super excited with this one! Lots of reading, but the class is only once a week, and it should be a bunch of fun. One of my favorite books, Number the Stars, is on the reading list. 

The first three classes listed are only Monday Wednesday Friday, and Child. Lit. is my only class on Tuesday, which means I have Thursdays OFF! No early classes and no late classes either. Yay!
After the day was done, I met back up with my mom and she told me that it was weird for her to think that I'm going to leave and be a college student in the fall. I told her it was weird for me to think that I was going to be at school with all the people I spent the day with. It seems so far away and still isn't quite a reality, but it'll be great. Everything just seemed to fit when I was on campus, it felt like it could be home.

I think the hardest part about the whole transition is that I've never done this before, I don't know what to do or to expect. My first time graduating, my last summer at home, moving out, going to college, not being around people I've known since I was 6 etc. It's crazy, but it's great!

PS, sorry if this post seems like a lot of random rabble. I wrote it sporadically and when I was extremely tired, but I don't care enough to go back a fix it. It is summer after all...

Sand, Sunshine, & Small Groups (only one of these is a reality)

I am craving a trip to the beach! Let me add some stipulations: I am craving a trip to a warm, sunny, Oregon beach with a friend or more or more. I can't remember the last time I went at all. How sad is that?

I KNOW! I can take my small group girls! YES!

Update: Sunday was the first week of gender specific bible study small groups at my church! Since freshman year, I've been advocating for a girls small group, and now I'm at the point where I can lead it. I'm so excited! My youth pastor's wife, Beth, (see "Sometimes Parking Tickets Are Worth It" post) and I teamed up to create what we hope will be a safe, encouraging environment for these girls to share, learn, and grow in relationship with God and with one another through the Word. We were a little nervous if everyone would be willing to jump on our bandwagon, especially the younger girls in middle school, but when we asked everyone what they were hoping to get out of our weekly meetings, we found ourselves agreeing with every one of them. We're going through a study of 1 Corinthians that's broken up by topics, which I think will help. I can't even describe how excited I am to see what God has planned for and through this group. I'll keep you updated on that too :)

I promise I'll write a little bit about graduation (with pictures of course) but because I'm currently using my new MacBook Pro (thank you graduation money!) I don't have pictures on my computer yet. Soon though, very soon. 

You know what else is soon? I'll let you know!
Surabhi moves to India: 10 days
Leave for Las Vegas: 17 days
Turn 18: 26 days
Go to college: 93 days

Exciting things this summer! Hopefully a beach trip will be added to the list as soon as Oregon gets the memo that it's officially summer and the weather should cooperate.

Last

Today was my last day of classes. My last time being ruled by a bell. My last time opening my locker. My last time with certain friends. My last party in tech class. My last day as a high school student. Etc.

While it seems like a major event, it still hasn't hit me yet, or maybe I haven't correctly finished processing it all. My eyes definitely got misty, and I welled up more than a few times, but the full realization of the events of this week hasn't hit me yet. I'm worried. I'm the kind of person that has to cry a lot once, get it out of my system, almost a catharsis, then I'm good. I'm scared that the longer it takes to happen, the worse it will be, and at a more awkward time/place. We'll see. I'm not going to go sappy and write about high school memories, or things I'm not looking forward to leaving, but I'll add some pictures from the past few days. 

My best friends Jenna and Ashley at Senior Banquet. Going on 9 years :)

More from Banquet...

Last day of classes... Breakfast and awards in Governing Board

I got "The Giver" award because I gave a lot of myself in class, plus I gave my hair :)

AP English (with our t-shirts)

AP Art History poses

and my Techies <3

More to come after a fun filled next few days. I'll keep you updated on when I break down and water starts shooting from my eyes like no other. 

Next on the list: Senior assembly tomorrow, GRADUATION on Friday, all night party until 4am on Saturday, a billion grad parties, then my party on Sunday, and Grad night at church. Oh boy!

I Watch Too Much TV

I'm always reminded in September and May of the crazy amount of TV that I watch. It's really sad. It's amazing that I get anything done, have friends, and leave the house. My secret?

DVR <3

May marks the season finale of most shows, and this week especially I find my self getting excited to see how things will wrap up, and anxious at the thought of having to wait until September to start again.

Before I list of my shows, let me explain why (in my mind) it is that I watch so much TV. Though it started out with me as a kid wanting to watch Nickelodeon and the Disney Channel, it's evolved into the time each day when my family and I sit together and just take a breath. My mom works a lot more than she used to, and we don't all get to sit down at dinner every night like we used to. Almost every night, however, the four of us gather on our new, big, comfy red couch (homework and work included) and spend time together, talking over the less important fictional characters on the screen.

Here it goes. I can't say I'm proud of this, but it's a very real part of my life. Love it or hate it. Here are our shows:

Chuck

Amazing season finale! I wasn't angry or confused, but it wasn't predictable. I applaud you, Chuck.

American Idol

I don't know who I want to win... They're both so good! I think I would buy Lee's album over Crystal's though.

Glee

Oh my Gaga. For being about a Glee club, this show is super deep and the renditions of the songs give me chills.

 

Bones

Meh.

30 Rock

Too funny, but the season finale wasn't any thing special, minus Kevin The Page. My favorite <3

The Office

 This finale wasn't even as good as a normal episode. Boooo

Well there you go. 

I do read though! Right now it's Cat's Cradle for AP English. It's a fast read and fairly entertaining. I don't mind it and might actually like it which is good because if it sucked I can guarantee you that senioritis would kick in and the book would stay on the shelf. Way to know your audience, McElliott ;)

Sometimes Parking Tickets Are Worth It

Yes yes, today I was the recipient of a lovely goldenrod envelope under my windshield wiper.

First off, let me say that I hate parking downtown. I'm too scared to parallel park so that eliminates half the spots, but most of the time those are full too. Today I was running late to have a long overdue catch-up session with my youth pastor's wife, Beth, and after I drove around for about ten minutes, I decided to pay $15 and park in a convenient 30 minute spot. I got my ticket after 70 minutes and I was there for 120. Tehehe. Oh well.
 
Tangent that will make sense at the end:
I used to be very introverted. I didn't really care that much about being in the loop, or always being with people. I was fine with doing my own thing. Lately, however, I've noticed a change. I like being with people, and I kind of feel like I'm missing out on stuff when I'm not. I feel the need to talk with my friends and really connect more often than in the past. This is probably more "normal," especially for a teenage girl, but it poses a problem when it comes to the fall. I graduate in less than four weeks, and leave for Seattle in four months. My friends start leaving for various schools as soon as July. One of my very best friends is flying far away in mid August. I'm slowly realizing that eventually I'll have to say goodbye to a lot of people I love. Not goodbye forever, but I won't be able to see them everyday, or get hugs whenever I want (sounds kind of silly, but I'm a hugger, I really like hugs). I am not looking forward to this.

Normally in these situations, I would begin distancing myself so it wouldn't be as hard later, but I'm attempting to do the opposite. Though it will be difficult to send my friends off to school, (I put it this way because I leave about a month after most private universities begin) I figure I'd rather know that I spent time building lasting relationships as opposed to desensitizing myself and letting those relationships break off.

Anyways, here's where the parking ticket comes in: Today I had a nice, two hour long conversation with Beth about anything you can imagine, and though it cost me fifteen bucks, I would gladly pay a lot more if it means spending time with people I care about.

I'm sure the City of Salem wouldn't mind it much either.

So maybe I'm not so great at this blogging thing

Well, I'm not good at blogging frequently.

Let's see, what should I elaborate on today...? How about I start with right after my last post and see where we go from there.

I got the interesting experience of teching for Sprague's musical, Guys and Dolls. For those of you lacking a knowledge of theatre jargon, "teching" is helping backstage for a production. Notice I said it was interesting. It was definitely more stressful that I thought, but it was honestly fun. I got to spend hoursssss with my friends Madison and Brandon, and we bonded over singing along backstage, complaining about the actors, trying not to swear, writing on the walls, and eating the pounds and pounds of candy we snuck in. Shhhhh, don't tell Ms. Lee. Now that I think about it, I actually really enjoyed it.

You know what else I enjoyed? Chopping off 10 inches of my hair!
That's right. Two other girls and I cut our hair on stage at Oly Pageant this year to donate to Locks of Love. I really regret not doing this earlier. If anyone reading this has long hair: Chop it. People are still surprised that I was so "brave," but really, the way I see it, I'm so blessed to be healthy and to have my hair, and I'd rather have short hair than no hair at all.

Heather's birthday was in April, and my gift to her (and to me) was tickets to A Night of Worship with LEELAND and PHIL WICKHAM!
It was so great. It really was a night of worship as opposed to a night of idolizing, which a lot of Christian concerts become. I loved spending the time with my baby sister who isn't really a baby anymore. (People always feel the need to point out that we're the same height. Yes, I know, I look like a 14 year old now. Thank you very much.) It's extremely moving for me to see her worship, to see her finding her own relationship with her Creator. It's just amazing to see her on this Divine journey. She is the thing I'll miss the most when I'm in Seattle.

Prom was May 1st, and after some unexpected twist and turns a bit earlier, it all came together and was a lot of fun. Brandon, me, Zach, Jenna, Jared, Maddie, Anders, and Kaitlyn had a delicious breakfast at Brandon's house, then headed to the zoo for the day. Let me just say that I'm glad I'm not an animal at the zoo, it was a bit depressing. However, it was nice weather and I really loved my group. After dying for an hour at Kaitlyn's house, we got ready quickly and met up for pictures at Zach's house. Here's my favorite shot of the night:
Though it was fun, I don't see what all the fuss is about. The ideas that older generations and the media pass on about prom is that it's this magical night that we'll remember our high school years by. Honestly, I hope this isn't the one and only thing I remember about high school. It's a nice memory, but not the quintessential experience.

After all this fun... duh duh DUH. AP tests.
Gross.
I pretty much just want to skip over these. I guess I'll sum them up so you don't feel left out.
#1 Stats: Didn't study, didn't care, probably didn't do so well, but like I said, I don't care.
#2 English: Studied, stressed, I think I did well, but I really have no idea.
#3 Art History: Goodness gracious! Crammed for this one, and after figuring out who should be in the room and who shouldn't, we were missing a test. Unfortunately, the AP people take this very seriously and I'm currently waiting to hear if my scores will be canceled and if I'll be able to retake the exam. So frustrating.

I am now, however, reaping the benefits of basically being done with my hardest classes. Pictionary in stats, movies in English, and The Simpsons in APAH.

I mentioned my senioritis in a previous post, so I'll skip over that except to say that I'm starting to plan for graduation. My announcements are in the mail (to me, not to other people because we kinda forgot about getting them. whoops) and I get my cap, gown, and cords this week. Oh boy! It's really going to happen! I'm really going to graduate!

I'm also starting to really look forward to July 9th-18th. You know where I'll be? LAS VEGAS! You know what I'll be doing? No? Neither do I really. I'm going on a mission trip with my youth group through YWAM (same as my San Francisco trip last summer). I do know that I'll be spending a week serving the people in Vegas, especially the homeless by being their friend and trying to meet their needs. I am SO incredibly jazzed! Last year I really found a heart for missions, and I can't wait for another opportunity to shed everything else in my life and spend 10 days focused on serving God's people 100%.
How sad is it that I feel I have to go on a trip to do this? Aren't I supposed to do this every singe day right where I am?
Yes.

Wanna hear my life Psalm as of late? Psalm 103. A month or so ago, I was really struggling with unworthiness. I wasn't allowing myself to accept that I was accepted and loved. I felt like I wasn't good enough for people on earth, and if I wasn't good enough for them, there was no way I was good enough for God.

The truth is, I'm not good enough for God. The other truth is, He accepts and loves me more than I can imagine anyways. He created me to be with Him, and yes I am human and I am flawed, but He calls me to come to Him and be transformed to resemble Him.

He redeems my life from the pit and crowns me with love and compassion
He does not treat me as my sins deserve, or repay my according to my iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him.

How great is our God!

So there are my snippets and insights.