I Watch Too Much TV

I'm always reminded in September and May of the crazy amount of TV that I watch. It's really sad. It's amazing that I get anything done, have friends, and leave the house. My secret?

DVR <3

May marks the season finale of most shows, and this week especially I find my self getting excited to see how things will wrap up, and anxious at the thought of having to wait until September to start again.

Before I list of my shows, let me explain why (in my mind) it is that I watch so much TV. Though it started out with me as a kid wanting to watch Nickelodeon and the Disney Channel, it's evolved into the time each day when my family and I sit together and just take a breath. My mom works a lot more than she used to, and we don't all get to sit down at dinner every night like we used to. Almost every night, however, the four of us gather on our new, big, comfy red couch (homework and work included) and spend time together, talking over the less important fictional characters on the screen.

Here it goes. I can't say I'm proud of this, but it's a very real part of my life. Love it or hate it. Here are our shows:

Chuck

Amazing season finale! I wasn't angry or confused, but it wasn't predictable. I applaud you, Chuck.

American Idol

I don't know who I want to win... They're both so good! I think I would buy Lee's album over Crystal's though.

Glee

Oh my Gaga. For being about a Glee club, this show is super deep and the renditions of the songs give me chills.

 

Bones

Meh.

30 Rock

Too funny, but the season finale wasn't any thing special, minus Kevin The Page. My favorite <3

The Office

 This finale wasn't even as good as a normal episode. Boooo

Well there you go. 

I do read though! Right now it's Cat's Cradle for AP English. It's a fast read and fairly entertaining. I don't mind it and might actually like it which is good because if it sucked I can guarantee you that senioritis would kick in and the book would stay on the shelf. Way to know your audience, McElliott ;)

Sometimes Parking Tickets Are Worth It

Yes yes, today I was the recipient of a lovely goldenrod envelope under my windshield wiper.

First off, let me say that I hate parking downtown. I'm too scared to parallel park so that eliminates half the spots, but most of the time those are full too. Today I was running late to have a long overdue catch-up session with my youth pastor's wife, Beth, and after I drove around for about ten minutes, I decided to pay $15 and park in a convenient 30 minute spot. I got my ticket after 70 minutes and I was there for 120. Tehehe. Oh well.
 
Tangent that will make sense at the end:
I used to be very introverted. I didn't really care that much about being in the loop, or always being with people. I was fine with doing my own thing. Lately, however, I've noticed a change. I like being with people, and I kind of feel like I'm missing out on stuff when I'm not. I feel the need to talk with my friends and really connect more often than in the past. This is probably more "normal," especially for a teenage girl, but it poses a problem when it comes to the fall. I graduate in less than four weeks, and leave for Seattle in four months. My friends start leaving for various schools as soon as July. One of my very best friends is flying far away in mid August. I'm slowly realizing that eventually I'll have to say goodbye to a lot of people I love. Not goodbye forever, but I won't be able to see them everyday, or get hugs whenever I want (sounds kind of silly, but I'm a hugger, I really like hugs). I am not looking forward to this.

Normally in these situations, I would begin distancing myself so it wouldn't be as hard later, but I'm attempting to do the opposite. Though it will be difficult to send my friends off to school, (I put it this way because I leave about a month after most private universities begin) I figure I'd rather know that I spent time building lasting relationships as opposed to desensitizing myself and letting those relationships break off.

Anyways, here's where the parking ticket comes in: Today I had a nice, two hour long conversation with Beth about anything you can imagine, and though it cost me fifteen bucks, I would gladly pay a lot more if it means spending time with people I care about.

I'm sure the City of Salem wouldn't mind it much either.

So maybe I'm not so great at this blogging thing

Well, I'm not good at blogging frequently.

Let's see, what should I elaborate on today...? How about I start with right after my last post and see where we go from there.

I got the interesting experience of teching for Sprague's musical, Guys and Dolls. For those of you lacking a knowledge of theatre jargon, "teching" is helping backstage for a production. Notice I said it was interesting. It was definitely more stressful that I thought, but it was honestly fun. I got to spend hoursssss with my friends Madison and Brandon, and we bonded over singing along backstage, complaining about the actors, trying not to swear, writing on the walls, and eating the pounds and pounds of candy we snuck in. Shhhhh, don't tell Ms. Lee. Now that I think about it, I actually really enjoyed it.

You know what else I enjoyed? Chopping off 10 inches of my hair!
That's right. Two other girls and I cut our hair on stage at Oly Pageant this year to donate to Locks of Love. I really regret not doing this earlier. If anyone reading this has long hair: Chop it. People are still surprised that I was so "brave," but really, the way I see it, I'm so blessed to be healthy and to have my hair, and I'd rather have short hair than no hair at all.

Heather's birthday was in April, and my gift to her (and to me) was tickets to A Night of Worship with LEELAND and PHIL WICKHAM!
It was so great. It really was a night of worship as opposed to a night of idolizing, which a lot of Christian concerts become. I loved spending the time with my baby sister who isn't really a baby anymore. (People always feel the need to point out that we're the same height. Yes, I know, I look like a 14 year old now. Thank you very much.) It's extremely moving for me to see her worship, to see her finding her own relationship with her Creator. It's just amazing to see her on this Divine journey. She is the thing I'll miss the most when I'm in Seattle.

Prom was May 1st, and after some unexpected twist and turns a bit earlier, it all came together and was a lot of fun. Brandon, me, Zach, Jenna, Jared, Maddie, Anders, and Kaitlyn had a delicious breakfast at Brandon's house, then headed to the zoo for the day. Let me just say that I'm glad I'm not an animal at the zoo, it was a bit depressing. However, it was nice weather and I really loved my group. After dying for an hour at Kaitlyn's house, we got ready quickly and met up for pictures at Zach's house. Here's my favorite shot of the night:
Though it was fun, I don't see what all the fuss is about. The ideas that older generations and the media pass on about prom is that it's this magical night that we'll remember our high school years by. Honestly, I hope this isn't the one and only thing I remember about high school. It's a nice memory, but not the quintessential experience.

After all this fun... duh duh DUH. AP tests.
Gross.
I pretty much just want to skip over these. I guess I'll sum them up so you don't feel left out.
#1 Stats: Didn't study, didn't care, probably didn't do so well, but like I said, I don't care.
#2 English: Studied, stressed, I think I did well, but I really have no idea.
#3 Art History: Goodness gracious! Crammed for this one, and after figuring out who should be in the room and who shouldn't, we were missing a test. Unfortunately, the AP people take this very seriously and I'm currently waiting to hear if my scores will be canceled and if I'll be able to retake the exam. So frustrating.

I am now, however, reaping the benefits of basically being done with my hardest classes. Pictionary in stats, movies in English, and The Simpsons in APAH.

I mentioned my senioritis in a previous post, so I'll skip over that except to say that I'm starting to plan for graduation. My announcements are in the mail (to me, not to other people because we kinda forgot about getting them. whoops) and I get my cap, gown, and cords this week. Oh boy! It's really going to happen! I'm really going to graduate!

I'm also starting to really look forward to July 9th-18th. You know where I'll be? LAS VEGAS! You know what I'll be doing? No? Neither do I really. I'm going on a mission trip with my youth group through YWAM (same as my San Francisco trip last summer). I do know that I'll be spending a week serving the people in Vegas, especially the homeless by being their friend and trying to meet their needs. I am SO incredibly jazzed! Last year I really found a heart for missions, and I can't wait for another opportunity to shed everything else in my life and spend 10 days focused on serving God's people 100%.
How sad is it that I feel I have to go on a trip to do this? Aren't I supposed to do this every singe day right where I am?
Yes.

Wanna hear my life Psalm as of late? Psalm 103. A month or so ago, I was really struggling with unworthiness. I wasn't allowing myself to accept that I was accepted and loved. I felt like I wasn't good enough for people on earth, and if I wasn't good enough for them, there was no way I was good enough for God.

The truth is, I'm not good enough for God. The other truth is, He accepts and loves me more than I can imagine anyways. He created me to be with Him, and yes I am human and I am flawed, but He calls me to come to Him and be transformed to resemble Him.

He redeems my life from the pit and crowns me with love and compassion
He does not treat me as my sins deserve, or repay my according to my iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him.

How great is our God!

So there are my snippets and insights.

Reflections on "Resurrection Day"

Happy Easter all!

Easter has always been odd in my family, and this year seems no different. When I was younger, it was the day that my sister and I fought the most, probably because we were already ticked off that we were in these horrible dresses. My poor mother... It was her favorite holiday and she wanted so badly for us to all look nice and go to church and spend the day as a nice happy family. What she got was two grumpy kids who cared too much about the chocolate eggs and what was in the prized Easter basket. The night before, my dad would secretly sit my sister and I down and tell us very kindly how important it was that we be good for Mommy tomorrow. My poor father... We never listened.

Again today, I feel like I'm reacting differently than I should. I should have this huge joy on the day that we celebrate Jesus rising and defeating sin and death, but instead I'm feeling a little down.

I'm sad and I shouldn't be, but I am.

I know the great truth of what Christ has done for me, and though I should be filled with joy because of it, things still get me down. My world shakes and I feel like I've lost control, and it's hard for me to accept that my feeling this way is God. But it is. I have to accept that His will is far greater than my will, and He will have his way and I'll thank Him for it eventually. Right now I have to have to have to trust that He's in control of the things that other people do to me too.

Romans 8:28 says "And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

I have to let go, and feel the pain, and allow the joy to heal it.

Psalm 42:11 - "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."

This past summer I was reading Psalms and it really struck me how the Psalmist would start out asking God why He had forsaken them, or why all of this crap was going on, and the Psalmist would be really angry with Him, but through the process, he praises God. He PRAISES when he's going through is own personal hell. It's like he's saying "Yeah okay, this sucks right now and I want You to know that I'm kinda hating everything, God, but I guess You're bigger and stronger and all-loving and I know that You are bigger than my problems and these struggles and it will be better in Heaven if not before then. Okay, let's do this thing!"

So I guess now it's my turn to say "Okay, let's do this thing!" Here I go to find joy after APAH homework...

Senioritis and Spring Break

I've been diagnosed with a rather serious condition...

Senioritis.

Now that I know where I'm going in the fall (SPU!!!) my motivation to do well in school has dwindled dramatically, much to my mom's displeasure. Not surprisingly, I'm finally taking a minute to update a blog that I've told no one about for fear of someone actually reading it, because I don't want to do the large amount of homework I acquired over spring break.

Now that I have college to look forward to, the schoolwork now seems less important. I really enjoy being in class and learning the information, but I all of a sudden have a problem with the busy work.

I am not alone though. It doesn't help that all of my friends are in the same boat and we can easily convince each other to take a relaxing night off every now and then.

Backing up, I've officially accepted my admission to Seattle Pacific University! I'm so extremely excited! I can't wait to be up in my favorite city meeting new people and starting a brand new chapter in my life. It'll be interesting to experience a private Christian university after being in public school for 12 years. I have at least two close friends going there too, so at least I don't have to start from scratch making new ones. I'm so incredibly excited to see what God's going to do in me there. I've heard others' stories about their experiences and the growth they've had in every aspect of their life. What I'm most excited about are all the mission opportunities that SPU offers and encourages. I'm sure I briefly mentioned my trip with YWAM this past summer, and I can't wait to go out and do more. I'm addicted.

However excited I may be, I need to learn to live in the present. I don't want to miss out on my senior year in high school because I spent all my time day dreaming and complaining that time moved too slow. Sigh...

Something that I did recently enjoy was my spring break trip to PARIS with my mom and my sister. My mom had to be there for work, and it conveniently worked out that she would be gone during the time that Heather and I had off school. After months of convincing and planning, we finally planned our trip! It was my first time over seas, and I was very excited to use some of the French I've been studying for over three years now. I found out, I suck at French. I'm very very appreciative that other nations stress the importance of learning other languages, because the US definitely does not. I won't go into a lot of explanation, but we were there for a week and got to see most of the big attractions.

The Eiffel Tower

View from the top

Arc de Triomphe

Sacre Coeur

Sainte-Chapelle
The windows are the big feature and they were absolutely stunning
Notre Dame

We even climbed to the top of the towers

Got my APAH fix at The Louvre

Then more at the Musee D'Orsay

We at lots and lots of delicious food (the part I miss the most haha)

And looked at amazing things while we ate
Yes, Heather and I picnicked right here. It was fantastic.

I had an amazing time being with just my mom and my sister for a week in France. Couldn't have asked for a better vacation.

I think that's about all the updating I'm up for right now. We'll see how long it takes me before I post again. I know the anticipation will kill you.

My Christmas Card to You

While brainstorming on things to do that would keep me from doing my homework, I remembered the blog that I had started many moons ago... I'm not going to try to describe everything that's happened in those past months, but rather just start up again. Maybe this will be my new years resolution: to try to take a break every now and then and write. We'll see how it goes.

Instead of typing an update, I'll throw in some photos to let you know where I've been and what I've been up to. It's basically a very long, digital Christmas card. Enjoy :)

In July, I went on a missions trip to San Francisco. Absolutely amazing experience! I'm pointing to where we stayed in the Tenderloin district.

Our group outside the YWAM base. Love them :)

I went to NY with my sister Heather and my dad in August. We were very excited...

We saw "In the Heights" and "Bill Elliot" and met the Tony winning actor who played Billy!

We ate delicious pizza too...

And saw our cousins Rebecca and Julia.

I started my senior year in high school! Go Olys!

Went to Homecoming with some lovely ladies...

And was in my last high school play, "The Diviners."

Visited some colleges. Whitman (photo) and Seattle Pacific.

And went to California with my family after Thanksgiving for a little break.

That's about it. I'm enjoying my senior year and my last year at home. I'll update with real news sooner rather than later I hope.

Blessings, Caroline

Worship

One of the most powerful ways I connect with God is through music. Lately I've been going through some stuff, and this song from Youth Group kept coming into my head.

God of compassion, God of grace
God of forgiveness, You love me
God of the broken, God of the weak
God of the needy, You love me

Who am I and what have I done
that you love me through Your son
Who am I and what have I done
that you love me through Your son

These lyrics are SO true! God loves us so much, despite what we've done against him. I have done nothing worthy enough to justify the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross with my life in mind. I sing this song and I'm reminded that even though I've messed up, Jesus already died for my sin, and he wants a relationship with me and wants to free me from my mistakes. He is a God of compassion, and mercy, and forgiveness, and of the needy and weak. He is my God, I am his child, and he loves me more than life itself.

I think it's so amazing how God just knows what I need to hear, and can just bring lyrics into my life that I can just offer up to Him. I am always at a loss for words in how to share my love for my King, it's such a blessing that others do have the exact words I need, and they share them though their songs.